and life rolls on.

 I believe the old adage goes, "The more things change, the more they stay the same". My life over the past seven years has certainly proven this true. But one factor is about to change things, AGE. That dreaded thing that keeps on marching no matter what we do. I'm about to experience Medicare. You know that stuff old people have. When I retired seven years ago this target was a very distant one. All I needed to do was keep my head down and perhaps age wouldn't catch me. Well even though I have kept myself very busy it has now caught me. Some mornings it feels like it is sitting on top of me. That's when I realize it's just the cat.

But in all seriousness, the past seven years have brought some drastic things. First I lost my Mother, than my older brother to MS and my Father is now 93. There's been punch to the gut moments but also some very good things. There's been moments of betrayal and some new found friends. My world is about to change but likely will stay very much the same .

Quarantine

So welcome to the brave new world. Tommy Shaw and James Young of Styx put it oh so well
..
Here in the Brave New World's embrace
I watch the parade begin
Searching for one familiar face
And I wonder where I fit in
How will I know if there's a place
For me in the Brave New World
..
The spread of Covid-19, this global pandemic, has certainly left me wondering. Just where do I fit in? Will I recognize what comes out the other side of all this? I watch as people fall, as corporate giants are brought to their knees, as society holds it's collective breath and wonder is this all part of some grand plan?

We see "corrections" in the stock market. When things get too far out of whack, boom... a correction and all is well for some time as people pick up the pieces. So I ask, are we in the midst of a societal correction?

Anyone that thinks that we are actually in control is left aghast! But throughout history what we are seeing before our own eyes has happened before. You can go all the way back to Biblical times and see examples. The Book of Revelation spells things out. Are we now seeing it with our own eyes?

Remember, as the saying goes... those that don't learn from their mistakes are destined to repeat them.

Stay safe and well out there.

"Unafraid of the unknown?" perhaps.

It doesn't seem like over two years. December 2017 was the last time I seen these folks and so it was today when that all ended. I had lunch with a couple old friends/co-workers and it was like old times. Like it was yesterday but a lot has happened since that December 2017 lunch. There's been health issues, deaths, marriages and kids growing up. Time has not stood still by any means. It marches on.
Ironically, I came across a career planning article entitled "Unafraid of the unknown?" also today. While it has to do with preparing a "recession resume" (glum thought) it seemed appropriate. Two years ago I retired from a roller-coaster career that spanned nearly 40 years. But I had had enough and had to get out. One too many "I'm too old for this crap" thoughts. I went from 60 hour work weeks to zero. Now while the Laws of Physics don't really apply this tact is not recommended. It was nice for a couple weeks but then I was ready to move forward. Two years of frustration followed. I was afraid of the unknown. But here I am. A bit battered and bruised. A bit older but not as stressed.
Seeing my old friends felt good today. Really good. Like yesterday. I do hope I get the chance to do it again.

Something to be said about retirement.

It was December 2017 and I'd had enough of the rat race and bad management decision. It was time to call a 19 year career with Big Blue quits. Retirement looked so much better. Little did I know what all came with that. I went from being crazy busy and stressed to boredom. Sure there's all that stuff you tell yourself "I'll do that when I retire". Yea, not so much. The other half of my household was none to happy to have me around 24x7. Even the two cats were confused. But none-the-less, I was retired.

Next came the  job search. The way you find a job, any job, has changed drastically since I did it last. How do you take 30+ years of career and condense it to a single page. The trying to convince a hiring manager that, sure I never did that specific job but, I have all the skills needed to be successful. So, two years down the road now I have a "part-time" IT gig that really is almost full time but only for the length of the project. All those Windows skills I had are now starting to come back.

Thanks Jimmy for the shot.

Job search in the new era

Well, I'm seven months into a job search. Yep, this was a self-inflicted move but something that was necessary for my well-being. Who would have thought. Having years of experience doesn't seem to matter because ATS systems control what resumes get seen. Gone are the days of, well I can do that. Unless your skills match exactly, forget it.

All about perspective.

It's funny when you revisit something that you haven't seen or heard in years, the thought processes that occur. I've been in the process of "rediscovering" quite a bit lately. My current favorite is music. Well, my like for music isn't new. I've had since I started taking piano lessons in like 4th grade. Even at that age my like for the "off the beaten path" music was evident. My favorites you might ask? Carole King, Elton John and Scott Joplin. Quite an eclectic mix. My teacher at the time was Richard Zana. He has since moved on to that big band in the sky but he fed that hunger for the music I liked. If we couldn't find music he simply wrote it. Still have some of it but haven't played in years. Add that to the bucket list.

But, for now, I'm back to the different types of music. I spent my High School years in the 70's so naturally what music would be my favorite? Was than and still is. I recently found a link to the music site Spotify. If you like music it's the best thing since sliced bread. Really. Today I made the mistake of bringing up a 70's playlist. Now, these aren't things I would pick but it's a list that someone else put together. This one has a bit of everything in it. What is really scary is, I remember this stuff. I'm talking about groups like Abba, Carole King, The Doubie Brothers, ELO, CCR and the list goes on. Most of this list is just playing in my ears as I work. Deep down in the list came this song that made me stop what I was doing. This one was from the late 70's but I remembered it like it was yesterday. It was from a movie about Janis Joplin (also a favorite). The movie starred Bette Midler as Janis. The movie portrayed the life of Janis Joplin cut short by drugs and alcohol. I don't remember much about the movie but I do remember this song. You see, back then it was just music. Today it started as that but I listened to the words. Then I looked them up. Here is what I found.

 Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give,
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose. 

Maybe it's looking at them through 50 something eyes, maybe they just brought back the memories of that time long ago. Whichever it is, the perspective has certainly changed. The words have meaning now. They aren't just a song anymore. Things have changed tremendously since I first heard that song. Not all necessarily for the good.  Reading down through those lyrics is reason to pause.

Where is that bucket list.

Crossroads

A friend of mine (thanks Val) posted the following as her status on fb the other day.

‎"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls...". Jeremiah 6:16

How profound is that!
Anyone that knows me will tell you I believe things happen for a reason. This verse really seems to tell me I am due for some changes. I stand at the proverbial crossroads.

Now before you start thinking I have lost my mind, a few things to ponder.

Several years ago a group of people I was associated with desired to plant a new Lutheran Congregation in our area. Recent events with the ELCA had left me wondering where this was all going to lead. Well, sad to say it didn't lead anywhere, or so I thought. It wasn't time I told myself.

On the work front I have also found myself seeking change. Not company but task. I have several avenues to take but not sure which. I seek guidance!

On the home front, my daughter is finishing Graduate School and likely moving some 90 miles north. Where does that leave me, here.

I have found that the world I live in has become very cynical and uncaring. Far too much of the "I'll just worry about myself and to hell with the rest of them" mentality. That isn't me. I want to make a difference. Just need to figure out how.

So here I stand, looking out at the future and wondering which path I need to follow. History tells me, the one I have been on has not yielded much happiness, much change. Perhaps that's why that verse strikes me so hard.

A few weeks back I was contacted by someone I didn't really associate with much. You see, I thought he ran with the crowd that was not really a fan of me or my vision. But, in life we all learn lessons. We start to see people for who they really are, not who they want you to see them as. But, here I was, having a conversation with this person about what could become a common goal. Go figure. So now I find I have company at these crossroads, at least that's what it appears. Remember what I said about appearances.

If all goes well there will be a new Lutheran Congregation sprouting up. Gone will be the ELCA from my life and in will enter the LCMC. Is this the opportunity I dreamed of before or just another instance of the last "band of cohorts"? Will I be on the right path? Will I find any rest for my soul? God knows, and in due time will show me.

On the work front, things are a bit more complicated. Hard to believe! To say I am "conflicted" would be an understatement. I want some change. I NEED some change. What will be the outcome? God knows, and in due time will show me

One thing that is for sure, something needs to change.